When I watched sabina tv which was made by Han sj, I could see how much her father loves his daughter. And I dare to imagine how my god father loves me also, his love would be much bigger and much deeper than any good parent's love. God father's love is not a patriarchal love or obsession or possession. It is in some sense like a motherly love. It was pointed out by Moltmann. Because god bears me, us, I mean he gives birth to children. That is why he is like a mother, woman.
In addition, when I love others, in particular, children, i try to think of god's love. Even i feel pity for others and live them, how much more god would love me and his people...
Today i also decide to be merryand happy in god, rejoicing in jesus and empowered by holy spirit. I tty not to worry about future. For god's hand holds me fast. In addition, i make up my mind not to strive for more wealth or higher social position. Because i am already god's daughter and king of his kingdom. There is nothing that i need to be anxious for. I can be content with my life, i can give what i have to my neighbors. God feeds me and god clothes me, as the gospels teach. The most important thing is for me to rejoice in God, to enjoy my life given by god, working and resting properly. Of course i will continue to study, read and criticize and write things from the feminist theoligical perspective. It will be done happily, merrily. Now i have been writing essays about my travel experiences in connection with sone movie critics...for example, i wrote about what i saw and felt in swiss, and i added to that my critical opinions on the swiss movie Sennentunchi. This last january i took a trip to the usa . Since then i could not travel abroad until now. If everything goes all right and i can arrange my teaching schedule for the time being, i wish i can go somewhere. It could be Australia..it will come soon. I made a promise, i prayed to god that i will always be with god, so i will always be happy and merry under any circumstsnces. It is an absolute thing, command of god. I will be happy to keep that command, because it is a good and pleasant command. It is not a should thing, not an obligation. But god's command gives me joy , pleasure and well being, i follow god's conmand. I am free to keep it. God gives me freedon. I will live happily and i will enjoy my freedom, walking with god...amen
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